This is tough to write, but nonetheless necessary.
 
As many of you already know, last week the Pac-12 as well as the NCAA announced they had canceled all competitions for the rest of the season due to the outbreak of COVID-19. This meant that our season had suddenly and abruptly come to an end.
 
Just the weekend before, we had been in Los Angeles for the Pac-12 South Tournament, where we went 4-0 (!!!!!) beating Oregon, Washington, Arizona State, and No. 5 USC!!! Our win against the Trojans was HUGE, and put us at No. 9 in the AVCA ranking - the highest ranking we've received in program history! Our season was looking to be a great one, if not the best yet, which made this news that much more upsetting. Everything that we had worked for - the countless hours we had put in, the work and pain we had put our bodies through, the sacrifices we had made for the seven months leading up to season; the opportunity to show it all off just vanished in a matter of hours. It would be like if you worked on writing a book for seven months, made countless drafts and edits and put long days and nights into it, and right when you think it's ready to publish, the book burns in a fire. It's a gut-wrenching feeling that's hard to shake, especially for us seniors. It's a lesson to athletes all around the world to never take their sport or the ability to be an athlete for granted. 
 
On the day we found out our season was over, we were able to have one last full-team practice. Even though the announcements had not officially come out, we were aware of the severity of the situation and expected their release sometime soon. In spite of the terrible news we knew was coming, we were able to be in the present and play for each other, and the love of the game that we all share. This practice, which was my last practice as a Cal Bear, will always be one of my fondest memories of my time in this program because it reflected how truly incredible this team is - despite the craziness going on in the world and the tears shed before and after practice, we were able to smile and laugh and have fun with each other as we closed out our season playing the game we all love. 
 
Although our season ending is truly heartbreaking, our coaches, players and staff understand that this issue is much bigger than us. We hope that everyone is able to stay safe out there, and can find some peace of mind during these stressful times. 
 
College sports can bring you the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, everything in between and all the emotions you could ever feel. Although the emotions I'm feeling regarding this abrupt end to my time as a collegiate athlete are some I never thought I would have to experience, I'd feel them a thousand more times if it meant having the four years I did with this program. As I reflect back on my time at Cal, the memories that I have from being a member of this team are memories that will make me smile forever. 

Being a collegiate athlete has shown me what it's like to be confident yet humble, patient yet hungry, mature yet aggressive, graceful yet gritty, and what it means to work hard for something you really want. I'm forever grateful for the opportunity I had to captain this team and the life lessons I've learned in leadership, accountability, commitment, and how truly special it is to be a part of something bigger than just yourself. 

To the coaches: thank you for allowing me to embark on this incredible journey and for pushing me every single day to be the greatest athlete and person I can be.
 
To my parents, sisters, and extensive support system: there's absolutely no way I'd be where I am today without you. And to the parents and families of this program - the support system you all have created is crazy special. I hope to be half as fun and cool as you guys when I'm older. Thanks for making such a fun environment to play our games in, and making us all feel like one big happy family :)
 
And to this team: grateful is an understatement. How gosh darn lucky am I to call you crazy people family. The friendships I've made here will always hold a very, very special place in my heart, there are no words to express how much I love you guys. 
 
Go Bears forever and ever...