As COVID-19 continued to grow in severity, we continued to grow weary of the news that we knew we would get. Losing our season meant so much more than what it seems, especially to us seniors. Cal was our home, and we fought every day for our spot in boats, for our marks in the classroom, and to stay on top of both at the same time. Our regimented lifestyles brought us structure and purpose. Every day we knew what we were doing and when.
 
The impending news didn't catch us by surprise, rather caused a swarm of emotions that I, my fellow seniors and the rest of the team hadn't felt before. Our coach likes to use the term "grinding" to describe what we do on a daily basis. We grind in the classroom and on the water to be better than our competitors. Those who can grind the hardest over the longest period of time are going to win. Our final campaign at Cal had great momentum and the right mixture of intensity and thoughtfulness. Each Saturday, we reminded ourselves of the important milestones throughout our season. We even took Sharpies to our hands or wrists as a reminder wherever we may be.
 
Everything we do as Cal oarsman is for one purpose. Like the planets around the sun, all aspects of our lives revolve around being the smartest and fiercest student-athletes we can be. One minute being in hot pursuit of something, and the next facing the fact that our season was cancelled was immeasurably rattling. Emotions ran high, anger and sadness boiled over in tears and disbelief. The suns to our galaxies had been extinguished, and everything that determined our choices was no longer. Though it sounds dramatic, we are hardwired to find solutions, pursue results, and find ways that we can do so smartly and efficiently.
 
The men of California Rowing are diverse and extremely academically inclined, and being a part of a group of young men who are passionate about learning and experimenting has been the best growing and learning experience that I could have gotten. Moving forward, apart from the people that I spent each morning and afternoon with, is hard. Having to part from the boys without knowing the next chapter of my life was sad and awkward. I wasn't ready to accept the reality of the situation. Graduating in May, I have been pushed out the door way before I was ready, before we got what we fight for every day.
 
Yet with uncertainty, we continue to grind. We don't know the future of our athletic careers, though my fellow teammates and I hold the values we have worked so hard to instill within ourselves. Even though we didn't get victorious conclusions to our four-year campaigns, we all have found peace in the fact that we will never stop being California Oarsmen, something we so proudly take to the grave. Cal Crew forever.