I still can't get over how strange it feels to go to sleep every night without setting a 6:45 A.M. alarm on my phone. Wake up, get dressed, brush my teeth, make a piece of toast, and head to treatment to get myself ready for practice. That's been my steadfast morning routine for almost every weekday of the past three years. Almost every one of those mornings I would wake up grumpy and wish for an extra hour (or two) to sleep in, but I never thought my wish would actually come true. And now, here I am with an extra hour (or two, even three) to sleep in, and I would trade it all in a heartbeat in order to put the world right-side up again.

My mom was the first to warn me about Covid-19 back in early January. She sent me an article about everything happening on the other side of the world, and I wrote it off as her motherly instincts just being overdramatic (sorry, Mom). Like most, I headed back to Berkeley for the spring semester entirely oblivious to the quick building crescendo of chaos that was about to hit the United States in a matter of weeks. As the semester began to pick up speed, I busied myself with the usual items: trying to master the technique of a low driven ball to my center forwards, working hard to read and understand Shakespeare's plays and Milton's epics, and spending time with my friends in between soccer and school. I was so wrapped up in all of these things that I hardly noticed when March arrived.

About a week or two into the month, I was suddenly advised to stay home when not scheduled to be in practice or class. A few days later, I received an email from the school saying I had to download Zoom and that my classes would now be entirely online. And before I knew it, my team was told that we couldn't practice and that we should just go home. Everyone was shocked. We had heard of the outbreaks across the globe and we knew that there were an increasing number of cases in the U.S, but I don't think anyone thought that our lives would be completely halted the way that they have been.

And yet, here I am. In my pajamas even though it's 12 P.M., lying in bed (I know I said I'd trade the hours of sleep for the world to go back to normal, but since that's impossible, I'm making full use of them) and thinking about how crazy all of this is. Like most everyone, I'm finding social distancing really tough. I want to go over to my best friend's house and hang out, but I can't. I want to go to my usual gym to get a lift in, but I can't. I couldn't celebrate my 21^st birthday the way I wanted. I could go on and on listing the things I can't do right now, but I'll spare us all from any more of that. I think the most important thing to remember right now is that we are being asked, begged even, to do something incredibly easy in order to solve, or at least assuage, a very difficult problem. While this isn't an ideal situation for anyone, if watching Zoom lectures in my warm house with a fridge full of quarantine snacks is how I can help stop this pandemic, then I don't think that's too much to ask of me by any means at all. 

And, I must say, that aforementioned fridge full of quarantine snacks has been clutch. Puzzles and old computer games, too. When I'm not working out, watching my lectures, or working on homework, I crank up my favorite music and puzzle. Or I read books and watch movies that have been on my list for a while. I also found this old computer game I used to play as a kid called Zoo Tycoon (it's pretty much what it sounds like, you build a zoo and take care of the animals), and I've spent quite a few hours honing my skills as a virtual zookeeper. At the end of the day, it's really the small, seemingly dumb things that make social distancing more bearable.

I didn't know what to write that would be a smooth transition into a conclusion, so I'll just end with this: You never really know what you have until it's gone, and this experience is a true testament to that. Going to the movie theater with my family, going out for sushi with my friends, or sitting in a full lecture hall on campus are things that I don't think I will take for granted ever again. I certainly won't ever take for granted getting to play soccer with my team every single day. My heart hurts so much for the seniors who played their last game without knowing it would be the end of their college careers, and for the teams who had only just begun to see the results of their hard work in the offseason.  My heart hurts for the world too, for the doctors and nurses on the front lines of it all, for any person who is at high risk of contracting the disease, and for every single person in between who has been negatively affected by everything going on right now. I'm so looking forward to someday soon when we can all come back outside, play our sports again, and just be together. But for now, stay inside, stay safe and healthy, and Go Bears.