This feature originally appeared in the 2024 Summer edition of the Cal Sports Quarterly. The Cal Athletics flagship magazine features long-form sports journalism at its finest and provides in-depth coverage of the scholar-athlete experience in Berkeley. Printed copies are mailed four times a year to Bear Backers who give annually at the Bear Club level (currently $600 or more). For more information on how you can receive a printed version of the Cal Sports Quarterly at home, send an email to CalAthleticsFund@berkeley.edu or call (510) 642-2427.

 
Sometimes the obstacle is the way.
 
That is a motto that recent graduate and former California women's gymnastics team member Elise Byun has adopted, among others.
 
Byun came to Berkeley in the Fall of 2020 after an impressive junior career when she was a two-time Junior Olympics national qualifier that was no stranger to the podium. As a Bay Area native and member of Airborne – a local gymnastics club that has produced Bears before – Byun understood what the academic and athletic expectations were for the university and the women's gymnastics program.
 
She knew she was prepared for the next level, but a pair of ankle surgeries and time lost during the Covid-19 pandemic set her back. Joining the team as a walk-on alongside one of the top recruiting classes in the nation, Byun already felt she was behind.
 
"I always felt that I wasn't good enough," Byun said. "I always felt that the girls in my class were exceptional and I always felt like, 'I'm not supposed to be here.' So, I always had that anxiety and imposter syndrome, even when I came in freshman year. My gymnastics just weren't there after taking so much time during the pandemic.
 
"The students in your classes are so bright. My teammates were so incredibly talented. Being average is just not good enough - you have to step up to a different level. I wanted that challenge and thought I had prepared for it, but mentally I hadn't prepared for what the whole experience would feel like."
 
As the fall semester of her freshman year rolled around, Byun began getting acclimated to a new schedule, a new academic rigor, and new intensity in the gym. Both her father and brother studied business at USC, which influenced her to pursue a spot in the prestigious Haas School of Business.
 
"I remember I would have significant test anxiety before taking exams," Byun said. "Everything I did felt like it was for my Haas application. Everything I did in the gym is for my story, for Haas. Every grade I did was my application and stats for Haas. Everything just felt a little like it was drowning me."
 
One month in to her freshman season in 2021, Byun would be hit with yet another setback. While training her floor exercise skills, she felt and heard a loud snap in her lower leg. She had fully severed her Achilles tendon.
 
"It felt like I had been shot in the calf," Byun said. "I'll never forget the look on our trainer's face. I knew I was done and had surgery and several months of recovery in my future which was tough because I really felt like I was starting to get my footing."
 
A nine-month recovery saw her back in the gym in November. Just one month after that, Byun tore her Achilles tendon again. The tear occurred just below the spot that was surgically repaired. She underwent surgery for a second time just before the new year and the 2022 season.
 
"The second recovery was really tough," Byun said. "Directly after surgery, I was in so much pain. I remember I had to get the stitches taken out and I was traumatized with how my scar looked right when they took that cast off. It went from a one-inch scar to like a six-inch scar."
 
Byun found herself in a dreadful rehab that consisted of constant trips to a specialist who would aggressively scrape her scar to break down the scar tissue. The process was already both mentally and physically draining, and then she received more bad news. She wasn't admitted into the Haas School of Business.
 
"That felt like kind of just like the nail in the coffin," Byun said. "Like what am I doing? I tore my Achilles twice and had a story to get into Haas. By that time, I had four surgeries and I'm still doing this sport. I had a story, I had great grades, I had an internship the prior summer - like all this stuff I had on the resume to get in, and I just didn't get in. That rejection, where you think you're good enough and having someone tell you that you're not, that you don't belong, hit me really hard."
 
A friend from back home reminded Byun that many of her accomplishments had come after hardships. She committed to her dream school after a season-ending injury. She's been here before and had never taken the easy route, so why start now?
 
The drive that got her to the top of her sport and into a prestigious university never left her. She just needed to aim those efforts in a new direction. That's when she approached Jessie Stewart, Cal's Director of Community Engagement and Partnerships for the Cameron Institute, with the idea of Peer to Peer – a group where student-athletes can go in times of mental and emotional strife, share their experiences, and receive support from others experiencing the same burden. The program launched shortly after.
 
"Having someone like [Byun] really raises the bar and brings to life what it really means to be a leader here at Cal," Stewart said. "She is also very human and transparent about her struggles so student-athletes are able to see this amazing leader who has really been through it and still managed to make a difference. It shows them that they can do it, too."
 
That was just the first mark that Byun would leave on Cal's athletic department. She quickly joined the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC) as a team representative and alongside Jameison Sheahan from the football team spearheaded the mental wellness subdivision.
 
"When I look back on it, that was definitely one of the things I am most proud of," Byun said. "Mental health is so important to me so being able to make something tangible out of it was so rewarding."
 
Byun joined SAAC's executive staff shortly after, served as vice president her junior year and then was elected president her senior year. Along the way, she was designated as Cal's SAAC representative at the conference level and brought her Peer to Peer idea to the Pac-12 SAAC conference meeting. Four institutions immediately adopted the idea.
 
Her involvement and dedication to this new-found love of leadership and advocacy led to her being named the SAAC representative for the entire Pac-12 conference. She was also named chair of the Pac-12 Student-Athlete Leadership Team (SALT) and was able to create and propose legislation to executives of each school's athletic department.
 
"The (Byun) that stepped into my office as a sophomore was curious and uncertain of the impact that she would be able to make," Stewart said. "To see her growth as far as her self-confidence, her leadership and the positive impact she's had on her team and the overall student body has been
absolutely incredible. She is the gold standard and is the perfect example of what we hope to see our student-athletes become."
 
Byun had found a new avenue in life all the while still training with the gymnastics team. After two years of rehabbing, she spent her junior year just getting back in touch with the sport. By her senior year, Cal was one of the top teams in the country and its lineup was tough to crack. But on senior day at Haas Pavilion, Byun got word that she would be competing for the first time in her career.
 
She was given an exhibition routine in the floor exercise, the same event that resulted in her torn Achilles. Her routine was the final event of the afternoon, and she completed it beautifully. When she finished, Haas Pavilion erupted in applause.
 
"That routine felt like the victory lap that I thought I would never get," Byun said. "Hearing the crowd erupt as I held my ending pose was crazy. It was just nothing I've ever felt before because I've always been with the noise, but to be on the other side was just like something I've never felt before. And to feel all the love and energy, even from my friends in the crowd and all this stuff, it was insane."
 
It was truly a culmination of what feels like a lifetime's worth of events, both good and bad, that Byun experienced in just four years at Cal.